Is it right to be hurt and get jealous when in the first place he doesn’t feel anything for you? My heart feels it would be easier to fall in love with someone else, someone with less baggage and a better fit for me. I maybe vigilant and a big critic when it comes to choosing a mate but in this moment of my desolate existence, I tend to fall unstoppably fast to someone who showed minute cares to me even if it’s bogus. I don’t know why… possibly because this time I want to belong, I want to feel claimed, I want stability and security and I want forever. Thus, I want to have a long term relationship. However, I feel like I am now stuck in this miserable existence with nobody to lean on. My mind is anxious with this optimism that somehow somewhere sometime he’ll feel the same way in return with all the respect and positive attitude I’ve exposed to him. I am not really vocal with my feelings towards anyone else but I know his perceptive gifts recognize how I feel. I want him to like me with his own volition not being coerced with the so called “sympathy.”
He isn’t sweet. He doesn’t even show affection. He limits himself to anything. But I truly love his style. I couldn’t understand this… this bullshit feeling happened so quickly. He isn’t anything I had planned on. I like him to the extent that from time to time he popped into my unconscious world. I don’t even really need to read his messages anymore, I have them memorized. He drives me crazy. One thing I’m terrified of is that he might not be who he says he is. This is not healthy for me. I need to stay away from him, otherwise I’ll get melancholy. I started getting jealous even if I don’t own him and I don’t even really know him. I know I can get out of this drama before getting my hopes high. It’s not worth the risk of liking a complete stranger.
