I PLEAD GUILTY

Walking back and forth was the only thing I did last night until a sudden black out disrupted my deep deliberation about my mistake. It only worsened my feelings as it made me feel so sick and isolated from the world I used to have, crazy-funny world. I tried sharing it to my roommates to get some relief but it was a darn failure. I asked God for forgiveness and guidance months ago and granted my request. He led the way but to my stubbornness I was making my own way to calvary, not just once but several times. I am drowning with signs, warnings and advices to stay away from it. I somehow made it, but only for a short span of time.  In fact I was on the road to fix things up but boredom killed me and temptations teased me. I am only human and I am also weak that I could not afford to resist temptations. So I ended up making same mistake all over again. This is not me anymore. I used to be a good person way back then until someone played games with me that pressed my demonic side button to explode. Sadly, it did not only explode, it even ruled my life. I plead guilty! If only my guitar is here, I wouldn’t commit same mistake again. Now that I’m in a mess, who’s to blame? Boredom? Guitar? Or I am to blame for being too weak?